Hi my loves, welcome back to The Love Series, Chapter 3.
This month, let's talk about Communication. Dan and I get loads of questions on whether we argue or have quarrels as a couple. I would say we do, but on a rare occasion. When it happens, it usually stems from us being in an irritable mood. We've agreed never to mix bad mood with our words, as almost 100% of the time, you're not thinking rationally when you're angry. Also, Dan and I never ever sleep on a problem, we solve it together, make up and then go to bed happy.
That is one of the main reasons how we've managed to maintain a relationship without us arguing that often. We simply just communicate. Be attentive and listen to each other, these are 2 simple actions that many of us do not practise. What Dan and I have noticed is that no one really listens to anyone anymore, and it's truly sad. Everyone is fighting to speak, which can get really exhausting. Instead of being so quick to answer, take time and actually listen to every word your partner is saying. Listen to understand, do not listen to reply. There is this saying that 10% of conflict is due to the difference in opinion, while 90% of it is due to the delivery and tone of voice. When things get heated, take a few minutes to cool down before replying. If you've uttered words out of anger, learn to swallow your pride and apologize.
Never move on from a problem without actually solving it, because sooner or later, it will resurface. Learn to face your problems together, because burying them will not help the relationship at all. Unless you've completely solved it, that problem will always be the reason to argue again. A lack of communication breeds assumption, which leaves room for doubt. Communicate with your partner, learn about each other, and grow stronger together.
Love,
Amelyn
Read: Trust & Understanding
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