June 18, 2018


Hi my loves, welcome back to The Love Series, Chapter 5.

Today, let's talk about fear. There are so many different kinds of fear in a relationship. Fear of losing him/her, fear of a cheating partner, fear of meeting the family, etc. It is important to voice these fears out to your other half, don't ever keep them to yourself. Bottling up your thoughts will only lead to doubts and paranoia.

In my relationship with Dan, there was never a time where he did anything to make me doubt him. I am lucky, I won't deny that. However, when I first started dating Dan, the fear of losing him did creep into my mind. Not to someone else, it was never that case - but to accidents or goodness knows what that might take him away from me. Over the years, this fear slowly got erased. Dan assured me that our relationship is too important for him to do stupid things. I realized that it was just what I needed to hear from him, and it did eventually stop my unneccesary worrying whenever we are not together. 

Sometimes you have to trust your partner in order to completely erase these fears. If you do have thoughts/fears of your partner cheating, you have to ask yourself why. Is he doing something that made you think that way or is it all in your mind? However, if if his/her attitude towards you is changing, find a time to talk it out. I can't emphasize enough on how important it is to communicate with your partner, you don't want to be spoiling a surprise that was meant for you.

 Also, fear of meeting the family is only temporary. For Dan and I, we did not have a proper meeting over a meal kind of situation as we met each other's family informally when we were still in college. (We were always at each other's place doing our never ending projects.) But for those of you who do have to go through the meet the family dinner situation, just trust that they will love you just as much as your partner does! I get it that it can be totally nerve-wrecking. You can always tell your partner (before the dinner) to bring a topic up everytime there's the awkward silence. In 2014, Dan met my sisters and my brother-in-laws in the States for the first time ever and it was great. They got on so well immediately and it was because I took the effort to talk about him and what he likes everytime we call each other on FaceTime. In that way, it seems like your family would already know a little something about the one you love and that takes the pressure off the first meeting. 

Even though fear reveals what we care about most, never let them take control.