April 07, 2018


In today's The Love Series, let's talk about our newest chapter, Respect.

In my relationship with Dan, we've build a sense of self-respect and respect towards each other. We respect each other when we need space, we respect and support each other's craft and goals, and of course our feelings too. As I see Dan almost 24/7, there are times that we need a day or two to be alone. And when one of us requests for that time to be alone, we fully understand and respect that decision. 

For those of you who are new here, Dan is an illustrator. When he draws, you basically cannot reach him because his phone is off limits. He will not go on Instagram or reply to chats at all. He will be in full concentration for a good 3 hours. When I say we respect each other's craft, I mean that during those 3 hours, I refrain from disturbing his work time. Even when I need a girls' day out, or him needing a boys' night, we respect that. We do not crash each other's gathering or flood each other with text messages during this time, when the attention should be on our friends and not each other. I've also seen stories on Instagram about girlfriends who sulk and complain about waiting for their partner while they watch them play a certain sport. Their caption usually goes, "Ugh girlfriend duties, watching him play..." or "Back here again...*inserts roll eyes emoji*". There is no reason to sulk and/or complain because you made the choice to sit there and watch him play. Given that your partner is out there trying his best to win the competition/game, shouldn't you be the most supportive person rooting for him?

 For instance, Dan has no interest in Fashion and Beauty. I will only ask him along to these events if there is a need for us to create content together. Likewise, for his Art sessions with other illustrators, there is no need for me to be there. Dan enjoys playing basketball for leisure, but I don't watch him play. When he does, I'm at home working and he respects that because he finds it a waste of time for me to sit by and watch him. As a couple, you don't have to do everything together. Know that there is a difference between being supportive and being 'there' in person. If you're physically there while complaining all at the same time, then you're not really there at all. Respecting each other is important; whether it is passion, hobbies or decisions, always encourage and bring out the absolute best in each other.

Here's one story I'd like to share with you. I used to be aquainted with a girl, who had a horrible relationship with her partner. When she told me about her problems, I was shocked that her relationship was so bad. There was once when she called me crying, because her boyfriend shouted at her in public and left her at the airport, because she was 5 minutes late from picking him up. She also showed me the texts of him criticizing her, it was awful. While on the other hand, they are all hearts eyes and #couplegoals on social media. It truly is sad, that there is no respect in the relationship at all. When social media and 'doing it for the likes' become more important than your happiness and relationship, you should take some time to reconsider your priorities and mental health.

Dan and I are not perfect, nobody is. We still have things we continuously work on as well. I created this series to share my experiences and lessons learnt along the way, with hopes that some of you out there are able to relate to them. 

Remember this: "Respect is like a mirror, the more you show it to other people, the more it will reflect back on you."


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